She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
