I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize