come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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