I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
