why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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