Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
