And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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