My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
