remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
