Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
