I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize