he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
