By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
