K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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