Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Randomize
