I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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