it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
