Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
