farters have to be the big spoon...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
