i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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