Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night

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(410): View more from Maryland

can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

(443): View more from Maryland

wasted?

(410): View more from Maryland

im pocohantasssss

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(515): View more from Iowa

Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.

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(807): View more from Ontario

Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

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(402): View more from Nebraska

From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."

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(765): View more from Indiana

Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.

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