Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
