ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
