A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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