if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
