Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize