i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
