id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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