Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
