the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
