What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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