and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
