in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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