I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize