So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
