Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Congratulations! We have a period
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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