No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
