So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize