I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
