I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
