If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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