a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
