So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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