Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
