You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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