its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
