i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
