yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
