is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
