I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
