How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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