I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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