Where are you?
In a non slutty way
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
