So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
