ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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