I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
