ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
