now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
