The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
