i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
