I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
