For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
