ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize