I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
