lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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